


A Beating Heart of Stone

by Oliver_966



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Klaus Hargreeves, Child Abuse, Dave (Umbrella Academy) is Dead, Everyone is mean to Klaus, Experimentation, Human Experimentation, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Klaus Hargreeves Whump, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Klaus is the distraction, Klaus whump, Loneliness, M/M, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Sad Klaus Hargreeves, Sad with a Happy Ending, Time Travel, Torture, Unethical Experimentation, they're in their small bodies, this sucks dont read it sjdbdhbd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 16:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20118076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliver_966/pseuds/Oliver_966
Summary: “Remarkable.”Klaus is ripped from the warmth of the darkness, and he groans. “Whaa?” he groans.“Number Four, it seems there is more to your powers than just seeing or even touching ghosts.”“What’re you talking about Dad?” Klaus mumbles, sitting up slowly. He’s extremely sore and his head is throbbing.A quick glance around tells him he’s in the infirmary, his father perched on a chair next to his bed.“You seem to be capable of coming back from death.”~~~~Or the one where now that they're stuck being children again, Klaus is the distraction and his life just keeps going downhill from there.





	1. Prologue: Hows it go again?

**Author's Note:**

> So I've seen read several fics that inspired this one but I like to think I'm putting my own spin on the trope. I'm probably not but read it anyways, it'll be nice and sad.

“Dave?” Klaus mumbles as we wakes up, his head pounding and his body sore. He’s lying on the ground and when he looks around, seeing his siblings young selves surrounding him, he remembers Dave is dead and he’s 13 again.

“Klaus?” a familiar, if younger, voice exclaims, slamming into him and wrapping him in a fierce hug. “Ben!” he exclaims happily “You’re alive!”   
“I’m alive!” the two laugh joyously.

“Ben…” Diego breathes, and their other siblings, minus Vanya, are staring at him in awe, even Five.  
“Hey guys!” Ben smirks and waves and Klaus is so overjoyed Ben is alive that the dread at being 13 again is overshadowed.

Five is the first of them to get over his shock at Ben being alive, stating in an annoyed voice “Not to break up this touching moment, but Vanya could wake up at any moment, and we need a plan that doesn’t involve locking anyone away.” he shoots Luther a look, which causes the blonde to wilt.

“Isn’t the plan just to train Vanya’s powers so she doesn’t make the world go boom boom?” Klaus waves his hands around a little as he speaks and Five scoffs.  
“Way to simplify things Klaus, how very expected that you wouldn’t understand how delicate our situation is.”

Klaus inwardly winces. Harsh. Ben shoots him a pitying look, which he shrugs off. He also sticks his tongue out at Five.

“Anyways,” Five looks over at Vanya, and Allison by default as he had crawled over to sit by her sister the moment she woke “We have a few major problems to deal with. We’re thirteen, so we have to stay here with Reginald,” Klaus feels a bit of dread pool into his heart, memories of the mausoleum worming their way into his head.

He reminds himself that the only alternative to this was the end of the world, and death. Plus he figures he’d do this all again willingly if it means getting Ben back.

“Vanya!” Allison exclaims, drawing everyone’s attention. Sure enough the brunette is waking up, looking around confused and panicked.  
“I-Wha-?” she sits up stiffly.

Five walks over to her and kneels next to her “Vanya, it’s okay. The world ended,” her eyes widen and she seems to remember “Oh god, I’m so sorry!” she stares at her small hands and tears well in her eyes. 

“I ended the world- I- oh god!” she’s hyperventilating, and almost all of the ,now, children gather around her, reassuring her that what happened wasn’t her fault. Klaus and Luther stand back awkwardly, Luther because even he recognizes that Vanya doesn’t want to see him, and Klaus because he has no idea how to comfort someone properly.

Ben is much better at this sort of thing and since he’s alive again, Klaus figures he’s not really needed.  
Plus he’s a bit distracted by the two women standing next to his siblings, screaming for help in sync, with blood and tears dripping down their faces.

~~~

Once Vanya has calmed down, the 7 of the sneak inside the manor, making Klaus truly feel like the 13 year old boy he now is, except the last time he was 13 and doing this he was alone and high.

They all gather in Fives room and the boys face twists into one of concentration. “Vanya we need to slowly get you off your pills, and train you.” he states and everyone nods. “We also need Reginald to not notice that you’re being trained.” to which everyone nods again.

“Okay, so does anyone have any ideas on how we do any of those things?” 

Diego blinks “Usually you’re the one with all the brilliant ideas!”  
Five shrugs “Well maybe I’m a bit tired from transporting 7 people years into the past.”

“I think-” Luther starts, startling everyone as he’s been silent since they got back, “that Five will be the best to train Vanya, but everyone except… uh no offence Klaus, but everyone but you should be able to help too.”

“Fair enough.” the seance shrugs, despite the wilting feeling in his gut.  
“Luther’s right, sorry Klaus, but your power is not only essentially uncontrolled, but none of us can even see it.” Five agrees.

“Hey, I made Ben corporeal that one time!” he exclaims, despite knowing Five is right. He said fair enough really, no point in rubbing salt in the wound. Obnoxious old Klaus, no good and no help, always too high to learn to control his powers, not like it’s his powers that led to him always being high.   
He may be useless still though, but reminds himself that he is no longer a junkie. No more drugs.

Even the small hope of seeing Dave again is enough to keep him far away from the drugs.

He shakes those thoughts from his head as Five shrugs, “Anyways, Vanya, are you okay with us helping you learn how to control your powers?”

Vanya nods shakily and Allison gives her a comforting smile.

“V-Vanya” Luther mumbles “I’m… well I’m really sorry about what happened. I never should have locked you up like I did.”   
Vanya nods “I- Well I understand and I forgive you, and I want you to help with training, but I think I need time before you can truly be my brother again.”

Luther nods, giving her a shaky smile.

Klaus thinks she’s giving him more than he deserves, but it’s not his decision whether Vanya forgives Luther or not.

“What about dear old dad?” Diego asks skeptically, “He’s going to notice if we’re all going out all the time,”

Five hums in agreement “I think we need to figure out a way to distract him while we train Vanya.”

Klaus swallows and gives Ben a nervous look. “We’ll all take turns distracting him when we can then,” Diego decides and Luther raises a brow.   
“Shouldn’t Klaus be the one distracting him, since we’re all going to be busy training Vanya?”

Klaus tenses up, but doesn’t let his fear show on his face.

“No way, we’ll all take our fair share of dad!” Diego exclaims, but Five intrudes on the conversation “No, Luther’s right this time” Diego and Ben open their mouths to argue but Five continues “We’ll all take turns when we can, but Klaus is going to have to take one for the team and keep dad away from us for the most part.”

Klaus wants to protest, but he knows that this is important.

“We should all share the burden-” Ben is protesting, but Klaus puts a hand on his shoulder “Nah it’s fine guys. I really don’t mind.” liar, liar, pants on fire a young girl chants from her seat on the ground, where she’s been watching with cold eyes.  
Klaus doesn’t even look at her for more than a second, the gore of the bullet holes in her head making him feel sick.

“Klaus, you don’t have to-” Ben starts but Klaus interrupts “Benny boyyy, I can handle it. It’ll probably be good anyways. I can finally learn some proper responsibility and all that.” 

He hears everyone but Vanya and Ben snort at that.

He tunes everyone out as they continue to discuss plans, dread pooling in his heart, as he realizes he’s going to be spending even more time in the mausoleum, or worse, this time around.


	2. Everyone's Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reginald finds out Klaus might not be useless after all, and Klaus asks for a break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the prologue and this chapter together and then decided to split them up to set up a more clear story arc or smthin, idk. This is where shit starts going down :3 so enjoy

Klaus isn’t needed until a few days into their stay in the past.  
He spends those days spending time with Ben, practically glued to his now living brother.

But when he comes back to his room after breakfast on day three to Five standing in front of the door he just nods.  
“How long should I keep him busy?” he mumbles, trying to sound more sure of his decision to do this than he is. He’s not sure he succeeds. Five doesn’t seem to care.

“I don’t know, a few hours? As long as you can.”

Klaus nods and swallows thickly. He glances down the hallway and notices Vanya is headed toward Allisons room. He gives her a big grin and a thumbs up “Good luck sis,”

He then makes the trek to his father's room. Every step of the way his brain cries out for him to run, to turn and leave this behind and get high so he won’t be able to see the ghost following him around and screaming at the top of his lungs for Klaus to helphimhelphimhelphim!

“This is for them,” he reminds himself “They need me.”

They need him for once and he won’t- he can’t let them down.

So he rocks on his feet nervously and knocks on his father’s office door.

The door is thrown open and his father is staring down at him disapprovingly, “What is it Number Four?”

Klaus’ voice cracks as he forces himself to say “I-I was thinking that, well maybe we could work on my training. I think I’m ready to finally learn I mean, please?” he trembles slightly.

He knows where he’s going now.

“Well Number Four, it’s promising that you’re finally showing some initiative in your training. You may not be a complete waste after all.”

Klaus nods.

“The first step is to finally get you over your ridiculous fear of your own power.”

“O-kay” Klaus stutters despite the burning fear in his chest.

“Well, let’s take a trip to the mausoleum then.” Reginald huffs, walking out the door, and Klaus obediently follows him, thinking of Ben and Vanya and all his siblings as he does.

They need him, so he can do this.

~~~

“No! I’m not afraid! Dad! Dad Please!” Klaus loses his composure the second he sees the building.

“Number Four you sought this out,” Reginald picks him up by the collar of his shirt and Klaus struggles to get free desperately.

“Please! NO! I CAN’T!” he screeches, the ghosts already swarming him as his dad throws him into the dark room.

“PLEASE!” he cries “Anything but this!” his hysterical screams echoing around him as the door closes, leaving him along with the creatures that were once people.

“Hhelpp usss Klauusss” one ghost hisses into his ear as the other scream at him.

‘Let me out, let me out, letmeout, letmeoutletmeoutletmeout!” he sniveled, putting his head in his hands as the ghosts seem to swirl around him.

He rocks back and forth trying to block out the noise, trying to make the ghosts go away, he blindly panics, willing to do anything to make them shut up, to go away, to let him out!

He feels a cold hand grip him and his eyes shoot open in shock. He locks eyes with a woman with burn wounds all over her face, her head half melted in.

They just stare at each other for a moment before Klaus feels another arm grabbing him. His head whips over and he finds and angry man staring at him.

Suddenly all the ghosts are swarming him, wailing in pain and anger, clawing at him, and he screams, he screams like he’s never screamed before. He’s stricken with terror as the ghosts tug him in all directions.

Why are they corporeal? Oh god he’s going to die. He’s going to die here…

He’s going to die and it’s going to be violent and horrible, at the hands of all these angry ghosts. 

“Please don’t!” he wails and one ghost grips him by the hair roughly and slams his head into the wall.

“Please,” he closes his eyes and struggles to escape the hoard of ghosts, kicking and throwing him around. He can’t breathe. 

“I don’t wanna die.” he breathes out, thinking of his siblings.

At least he’ll be with Dave soon, he realizes as everything goes black.

He finds the darkness comforting as it swallows him whole.

~~~

“Remarkable.” 

Klaus is ripped from the warmth of the darkness, and he groans. “Whaa?” he slurs.

“Number Four, it seems there is more to your powers than just seeing or even touching ghosts.”

“What’re you talking about Dad?” Klaus mumbles, sitting up slowly. He’s extremely sore and his head is throbbing.  
A quick glance around tells him he’s in the infirmary, his father perched on a chair next to his bed.

“You seem to be capable of coming back from death.”

Klaus blinks, thinking back to the rave, “Oh.”

“Do you remember what happened?” his father asks, his pen poised above his ever present notebook.

Klaus hesitates, thinking back to what he last remembers, “I was, I was in the mausoleum, but the ghosts, I made the corporeal somehow and they… they knocked me around for a bit, and then eventually killed me.”

Reginald nods, scribbling god knows what down.

“We will of course, have to test this new ability.”

Klaus freezes, and nearly goes to protest, before he realizes that he needs his dads attention… “Of course.” he agrees numbly.

Reginald seems pleased by his response.

“H-How long was I…”

“3 hours and 23 minutes. This time can hopefully be improved drastically”

Klaus nods, ignoring the dread sticking to his heart, “Can I be excused sir?”

Reginald nods, “Do what you will with yourself, but I expect you outside my room tomorrow half an hour after breakfast.”

Klaus nods, before scrambling from the bed, and the room, and the cold stare of his father.

He rushes down the steps, as if trying to outrun his problems.  
He wants to go to his room and lie down and never get up, but more than that he needs Ben.

He rushes to his brothers room only to find it empty.  
He hears soft laughter coming from Fives room, so he goes there. When he peeks inside he finds all his siblings gathered around and talking.

He smiles shakily, “How did training go?”  
Vanya waves at him, “It was okay, my control is shaky, even when I don’t feel negative emotions, so there’s a long way to go, but we made a bit of progress.”

Klaus smiles at that “Perfect! That’s wonderful Van!”  
A bit of warmth warms its way into him, helping ease the tense panic,  
This is why he’s doing it. This is why he’s going to go to his father tomorrow and let him do whatever he pleases to him. 

It’s for Vanya.

He could almost sit down here, spend time with his siblings, act like there isn’t a bone deep tiredness inside him, act like he didn’t get murdered by a mob of angry ghosts in a mausoleum today.

But it hurts so bad and he can’t imagine telling his usual jokes, and he can’t let his own bad mood hurt his siblings good mood. They deserve to be happy, Vanya especially, and what they’re doing is important.

“C-Can I borrow Ben for a bit?”

It’s selfish, and his siblings have a look in their eyes that tells him they agree with his inner voice, “Klaus you’ve had been for years. Let him spend some time with other people now that he’s not stuck with you.” Allison grits out.

Klaus knows she doesn’t really mean that, she’s just missed her brother is all.  
She’s right though, “Allison!” Ben exclaims, “Of course I’ll come hang out with you.” 

Klaus shakes his head “Nah, Allison's right. I’m tired anyways. It’s cool.” he waves and Ben starts to protest but Klaus leaves before he can, going back to his room, devoid of life, not even a ghost to keep him company for once.

He collapses on his bed and shuts his eyes, trying to fall asleep.

He finds that instead of peacefully drifting off that his eyes have begun to leak and he curls into a ball, shaking harshly as he cries.

By the time the family meets for dinner Klaus has composed himself, and looks like nothing was ever wrong.

~~~

He leans against the wall in front of his father's office.

Five had come to his room before breakfast and asked if it was possible for him to distract dad again.  
He hadn’t even needed to ask, Klaus had to come here regardless.  
Reginald exits the office and begins walking down the hall at exactly 8:30, and Klaus follows him, not even needing to be told.

He’s led to a room with nothing but a bed, no blankets, only white sheets and a pillow, monitors, an iv filled with something, and Grace.

His mother smiles, but Klaus thinks he sees a hint of unease in the robots expression… or maybe he’s projecting.

“Lie down.” his father commands emotionlessly and he does.  
“Now remove your jacket and shirt.” Klaus complies, and bites back his automatic response of “Incest, that kinky, but not my scene” or “Reggie I had no idea you felt this way about me.”

Reginald starts hooking Klaus up to the monitors.  
“What exactly are we going to be doing?” Klaus mumbles.

“Testing your new power.”

The boy nods “But how?”

“I’ll be poisoning you.”

Klaus nodded, ignoring the despair coiling around his heart.  
He doesn’t want to die, but he can’t so… this really isn’t even that bad.

“Start the process.” his father instructs Grace, who carefully pushes the needle into his skin.

He stares straight ahead at the ceiling, trying to ignore the way everything around him gets dark, as if someone had dimmed the lights but only for him. He can hear his father saying something but it sounds quiet and muted.  
He can’t understand what the words mean.

He closes his eyes, and ignored the nausea, imagining Dave. God he’d give anything to be in 1968 with his friends, with his squad, with Dave. He’d give anything to be with Dave.

Dave wouldn’t make him do this. Dave wouldn’t let him do this.

The warmth from yesterday takes him back into its arms, darkness consuming him. He almost wishes he wouldn’t come back this time, but it would break Ben's heart.

He can’t stay dead yet.

~~~

When he wakes his father is humming. “3 hours. Not awful, but still quite a while.”

Klaus looks around and sees his father writing something in his book. Grace has left the room, so he continues to stare at the ceiling, just as he had done 3 hours earlier, before he had died for the 3rd time in his life, the 2nd time in this timeline.

“This makes me curious Number Four, as to the extent of your abilities. I expect the more we work on your powers the more we will discover.”  
Klaus nods.  
“You may turn out to be the most powerful of all your siblings.”

Klaus thinks of Vanya literally ending the world, and he doubts it.  
He doesn’t even want to be powerful… but if it means keeping his father occupied then…  
Fine.

“I want to train sir. As much as you’ll let me.” the words spill out.

“Hmm… You certainly have intrigued me, and if you are willing then we truly might get somewhere with you...” Reginald glances at his notebook.

“Very well, you will have individual training sessions with me 4 days out of the week. Monday through Thursday. They will start at 8:30 each morning. I expect you to be punctual and sober.” 

Klaus doesn’t care about the disdainful glance his father sends him as he says that, he’s seen that look from everyone, and he’s sober now, even if he kinda wishes he wasn’t.

“Thank you father.”

Reginald nods, “You are dismissed. We will start your training next week.”

Klaus stands shakily, stumbling a bit, his whole body feeling off kilter.  
Dying really doesn’t feel too good.

Some part of him wants to seek out Ben and his siblings but he feels even worse today than yesterday.  
He may puke if he’s being honest.

He stumbles to his room and collapses on the floor the moment the door is closed.

He can do this, he can do this, he can do this.

“Fuck.” he groans, when a ghost starts letting out agressive shrieks. His head pounds and he doesn’t want to deal with this right now.  
“Go awayyyy…” he cries, glaring at the ghost.

The ghost keeps screaming and screaming and screaming. Klaus lies there and stares at the ceiling, irritation building in his chest until it consumes him. He’s hurting and alone and he just wants to rest but this ghost won’t shut up.  
“Go!” he yells, sitting up and clenching his fist.

To his surprise his fist turns bright blue and the ghost vanishes, as if blown away by the wind.

He figures he should be excited or shocked that he managed to send the ghosts away, the one thing he’s always wanted to be able to do, but he just wants to sleep, so he does.  
Dave seeps into his dreams.  
~~~

Klaus lives his life drifting between training, death, and spending time with his siblings. He supposes sleep is also something he does often, though often his dreams are haunted by memories, good or bad, they hurt either way.

His arm is covered in needle marks from the poison his father injects him with and he knows that the old man is gearing up to move on to other, more painful methods of killing him.

He walks out of his room on one of his days with no training, shelving how worn down he’s feeling, and intending to find something to do. He may be the least favorite sibling, but hanging out with his family is still fun.  
He misses being around Ben constantly too. So, so much. He hopes Ben feels the same, at least a little.

He spots his sister leaving her room down the hall.  
“Hey Allison!” he calls, waving energetically at his sister. She smiles and waves back “Hey Klaus. You don’t have training today do you?” he shakes his head with a soft smile and walks over to stand by her.  
Her smile seems to become more genuine, “Good, it feels like we barely see you these days.” she sounds sad about it.

Klaus just shrugs, “We’ve all been pretty busy. How’s Vanya’s training going by the way”  
“Amazing! Vanya is doing so well! She gains more and more control every time we work on her powers and soon she should have complete control.” she sounds so proud of their little sister and Klaus feels exactly the same way.

“That’s great! What’s she doing now? I was thinking maybe all 7 of us could do something together.” Klaus hesitantly suggests.

Allison nods “Without you distracting dad we can’t really do much but we should totally all hang out.”

Klaus tries to ignore the bit of guilt and loneliness that comment sparks, but fails. He should train more so his siblings can have a normal life, but it just hurts so much. He wants to have a turn being part of their happy little family instead of being put through painful experiments and torture day in and day out.

Maybe if he just told his siblings how bad it is! Not completely but just, if he was to just ask for a break surely someone else could take a turn every once in a while.

“Klaus you there?” Allison raises a brow and Klaus shakes his head “Sorry, I was just thinking. Let’s hang out!” there are so many things he almost says ‘I’ve missed you guys,’ but he figures that would be seen as ‘unKlauslike’

Allison gathers all his siblings and soon they’re sitting in her room, Klaus sits next to Ben on the bed and smiles hesitantly. Ben scoots closer to him, and the warm feeling of his brother should comfort of him but some part of him feels even more disconnected from his brother now.

“So Vanya, how goes saving the world?” Klaus asks his sister, who is sitting on Allison’s desk chair across the room, with Allison perched next to her on the floor.  
Vanya shrugs, “Pretty good. I’ve managed to limit my pills down to once a month now, and hopefully soon I’ll be completely off them. I think I might need a little bit of a break though to be honest…” she looks down, clearly not having discussed this with the rest of the group, who is tense.

Five stands up from his spot on the bed and walks over to her, him and Allison rubbing circles on her back and combing through her soft hair.  
“Hey everyone needs a break sometimes.” Allison assures, and while Five says nothing, not one for comforting words, he hums in agreement.

Diego, Ben and Luther nod “It’s no problem Vanya. Burning yourself out won’t help anyone.” Ben adds.

Klaus wishes the same went for him… but if Vanya is taking a break… he shouldn’t ask… it’s not the time, but the promise of pain and the fear of worse deaths than poison cause him to stutter out a hesitant “D-does that mean I can m-maybe I mean, not d-distract dad- just for a little while I mean-” 

Luther shoots him a disgusted look, and Klaus feels the small bit of hope that had gathered in his gut shrivel up.

“Klaus could you not make things about you for one second!” Five interrupts whatever Luther was going to say and the former junkie flinches.

“No-You’re right, I’m sorry Van.”

She shakes her head, “It’s fine Klaus.”

The rest of the family doesn’t seem to agree, but at least Ben shoots him a worried look. He wants to cry. If Ben were still a ghost he’d know just what to say to make him feel better and less like his throat is stopped up and he may cry.

“You know- I’m just going to go actually. You guys have a good day.” he flees the room and he wishes-he hopes Ben will follow after him.  
He doesn’t get his wish. He does hear Luther loudly scoff “Of course he would run away.” 

In his room he curls up in his bed in a familiar position, missing Dave, and missing the Ben that cared, and missing drugs.  
The ghosts are quieter these days, now that he can send them away. He lets them stay most of the time though. He finds it’s actually somewhat comforting knowing there’s something else with him- that he isn’t completely alone.

He certainly feels it these days.


	3. Lie Awake at Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH I'm back! This chapter is a bit short and took like 100000 years to come out! Today was the first day off I've had in ages with work and school. :) I really hope ya'll like this though!! I think it turned out okay.  
Leave a comment if you find a typo or see something I should revise! Or if you just enjoyed the chapter! Comments are super appreciated :) Thanks for reading~~~

“We’re going to take a brief break from developing your ability to come back from death, and instead focus on the other power we recently discovered”

Klaus blinks in confusion “What other ability?”  
He has no idea how his father would’ve known about that day back when this all first started when he sent all those ghosts away, and he’s not sure how Reginald noticed that, since thean can't actually see the ghosts

“Making the ghosts solid you fool.” Reginald interrupts his thoughts and he winces, having completely forgotten about what caused the deaths in the first place.

He’s not sure if dying over and over again is really better than making ghosts solid, but he’s used to it, it’s familiar now, and he doesn’t really want to change things up.

He knew his dad was getting bored with stabbing him with different poisons and whatnot though so he simply nods.

Besides, if he… when he manages to summon Dave, he wants to be able to make him solid. Dave definitely wouldn’t want him in this child body, but he’ll grow eventually.

Puberty is already settling in and Klaus isn’t too happy about that.

“Come along Number Four.” Reginald barks as he heads down the hallways of the mansion, Klaus scrambling after him.

They go to a larger room, where they often have group training. Klaus wonders how exactly they’re going to work on his powers here but he’s just grateful he’s not being taken to the mausoleum.

“I need you to think back to what you felt last time you made the ghosts corporeal.” Reginald begins, staring into Klaus’s eyes, seeming to burn into his very soul.

Biting his lip, Klaus thinks back to the mausoleum right after they’d come back “I was scared, I was… I don’t know, I didn’t want them to be able to touch me, and I was terrified.” 

“Hm, that’s not much to work with. You’re scared all the time.”

Klaus sigh, but doesn’t argue. His father isn’t wrong, he knows he’s a coward. He is even scared now as he wonders what brilliant plan Reginald has for him.

He thinks not being able to die is should be enough personally but whatever.  
He thinks back to when he made Ben tangible at the theater, and how helpful it was to everyone.  
So maybe Reginald has a point with this one, being able to summon armies of the undead or whatever would be useful, but still.

“I suppose we will just have to work at it.” Reginald huffs, and Klaus nods.  
Yeah, he’ll work at it. He’ll make the best of this and make himself stronger and more useful.

~~~

A week goes by with no progress on making ghosts corporeal. There’s always a ghost around to use as practice, even when he isn’t training, or better phrased, when he doesn’t have to be training since he spends most of his free time training regardless.

He stands, staring at the ghost of an old woman, he wills her to be solid and visible, he focuses, our everything he has into it, and it feels useless.

He’s done this before, he should be able to do it now, if he wasn’t so useless, if he wasn’t the screw up, the junkie, the failure.  
He balls his fists up and concentrates even harder. Be solid, be visible, be solid be visible. He pictures the old woman, dried blood caking her hair and a dent in her skull, he wants her to be visible, tangible, be real.

He is determined.

“Congratulations Number Four, we’ve finally managed to get somewhere.” Reginald disrupts his thoughts and he opens his eyes, he hadn’t even realized he’d shut them, only to find the old woman and his fists glowing the same shade of blue.

“Oh!” he exclaims, feeling a brief moment of joy.

Reginald throws a pen at the woman and it bounces off her, he takes another pen from his pocket and begins to write something in his notebook.  
Klaus can feel it though, the approval. Reginald approves of him, he managed to accomplish something that made his father at least a little bit proud.

He knows he shouldn’t care, he is mentally a grown man after all, but he can’t help but marvel at the feeling of not being the family disappointment for at least a moment.

Then, of course, he runs out of energy and the woman once again is visible to only him. She seems extremely confused, not wailing or moaning or doing much more than just blinking and staring at her hands.

Klaus doesn’t really care about her, she’ll be fine(or as fine as a dead woman can be at least). 

He looks over at his father again and the man gives Klaus a small nod “We will continue to work with this, along with your other powers, but you may have the rest of the day to yourself.”  
Klaus nods and grins, running off.  
He goes to Ben’s room and knocks. Ben lets him in after a moment.

“I’m free for the rest of the day.” he grins and flops onto Bens's bed. He wants to talk to his brother like they used to.  
Ben smiles “About time, I feel like all you ever do is train.”  
Klaus nods in agreement “Stopping the apocalypse sure is tedious right.”  
Ben nods with a laugh, and they fall into an easy conversation.

Klaus has missed this.

~~~

Two days later, any happiness left from successfully making that ghost corporeal and spending time with Ben is gone.

His father wants to try a new method of death.

Drowning.

It didn’t sound so bad when he was first brought into the bathroom, but after a few moments of being held underwater, Klaus needs air heneedsitheneedsit!

He gasps involuntarily, taking bathwater into his lungs, as he struggles to get up. His father firmly holds his head down and his tiny body is no match for him.  
He tries to beg, scream, call for help, anything, but no matter what he does no one but the water can hear him. No one is coming to help him.

His vision is darkening and he’s flailing, he’s kicking and he needs air and suddenly he goes limp. There’s a moment where he feels nothing as if he's floating rather than being held bent over the ledge and face down into a full bathtub.

Then he’s coughing, and when he opens his eyes he’s not in the bathroom anymore, he’s in the infirmary and he’s alone except for Grace, who is waiting for him to wake up.  
“Your father wanted you to be informed that your performance today was acceptable, and that he expects you’ll make a full recovery in time for training tomorrow.

Klaus nods at her, sitting up and putting his head in his hands.  
“Fuck.” he mumbles, his voice cracking harshly. His throat still burns and he can almost feel the lack of oxygen all over again.

He hurts. He hurts and he knows tomorrow will be more of the same. Whether it’s practicing making the ghosts solid or being murdered over and over, it’s always awful. He just wants to lie down and never move again, but his siblings need him.

He thinks of them and sighs. He’s doing this for them.

He wonders if, to his siblings, the fact that he dies almost every time he trains would change anything.  
He’s sure it would if it wasn’t him, but Klaus is just a junkie to them, he knows it and he’s okay with it.

As long as he can help them, maybe one day they’ll care about him too.

Maybe one day they’ll acknowledge he’s doing just as much as everyone else.

Maybe.

____

Another month passes from the first time Reginald drowned him to death. He can make ghosts corporeal for a full 45 minutes now. He still can’t summon specific ghosts, much to his frustration. He’s been killed in several new ways as well as if that first drowning opened the floodgates.

Klaus misses the days of painless poison, faced now with drowning, stabbing, cutting, and strangling. He wonders how many more methods of torture Reginald will come up with.

Yet he knows what he’s doing is important. Vanya is doing so well. She’s completely off her pills now, and learning more and more control every day. Klaus knows he just needs to hold on a little longer. He’s sure that his siblings will give him a reprieve from his father, from all of this, as soon as they can.

There’s a small part of him that fears they’ve forgotten him though.  
He brushes those thoughts aside though, and when his father releases him from training -he managed to make the ghost corporeal for 50 minutes, a small improvement, but an improvement nonetheless- he tiredly heads back down to his rooms.

As he walks past Vanya's room, he hears voices coming from inside. Curious, he pushes his exhaustion aside and knocks on the door.

He hears several of his siblings mumbling to each other through the door, and calls out “It’s only me.”  
Diego opens the door a moment later and smiles “Klaus, It’s good you came, we need you here for the meeting.”

Luther nods “Try to be more punctual next time.”

Klaus blinks “Meeting?”

His siblings blink, and Allison raises a brow, “Yeah, the meeting we’re having now? To discuss Vanya’s progress.” She says it as if he’s an idiot for not knowing that he had walked in on this important thing.

No one had even bothered to tell him that this was happening. He’s died for them time and time again, been tortured day after day, only for them. 

“No one told me.” he spits, frustration leaking into his voice.

Luther huffs “Well, you aren’t exactly around very often Klaus. Off getting high I bet.”

Klaus’ eyes widen and he sees red. He thinks off all the torture he’s put up with for them. “Is that what you think of me? Still? After everything?”

Luther scoffs “Well what else would we think of you? It was just a mistake Klaus calm down.”  
He doesn’t want to calm down. He wants to know why he’s so unimportant that no one could even bother telling him about a simple meeting. 

“Did you forget about me?” he turns to his siblings, his gaze burns as he looks into their slightly guilty eyes.  
“Klaus it was just a mistake. Get over it, there are more important things to discuss.” Five scoffs after a moment.

He considers it, but then Luther begins to speak again, “Anyways, Klaus we were all hoping you could distract dad a little more often. Vanya’s really progressing well, but we think if she just had a little more time to relax without Dad around, it would help a lot.”

Klaus can’t believe this. “Can no one else here distract Dad? Am I the only capable one!?” He thinks of what more training with dad would look like. He already trains most days of the week. He can’t train more. He can’t. Especially not for them. They can’t even be bothered to remember he exists.

He thinks of all the nights he spent lying awake, listening to the howls of the ghosts, unable to sleep due to nightmares of ghosts, torture, Vietnam, and dying again and again and again. He stared at the ceiling on those nights, wondering if his siblings truly cared about what he has been doing for them, telling himself that they must care. That they have to care. That they have to care, or else everything he's been through these past few months would be for nothing.

He sees now he was foolish to ever doubt his intuition. His siblings don’t care. Not even a little bit. 

“Well you seem pretty good at it, and it’s not like there’s much else you can do that’s useful to us.” Five scoffs.

Klaus glares at him “Fuck you all.”  
He looks over at Ben, waiting for him to agree with him.

Ben sees him looking into his eyes and looks away “Klaus it’s really not that big of a deal. I know dad's not exactly fun to deal with, but you seem okay. It’s for Vanya”

Klaus wonders how much distance there must be between them for him to seem okay. He feels so detached from the world, his emotions are like a fuzzy ball miles away from him that occasionally catch up with him and overwhelm him. He is further from okay than he has ever been before. 

It’s almost as if every time he dies, a little part of him is lost… And even Ben has become so distant from him that…. 

No one cares. None of them care. 

He growls and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Slamming the door hard enough to shatter whatever had remained of him and his sibling's relationship.

He walks to his own room, shuts the door, and sinks to the ground. His chest feels tight, and he breathes in short gasps, and he glares at the ground angrily.  
He feels as if he should cry, but his body doesn’t want to.

They really don’t care. He’s so angry, and so upset.

He’s done all of this for them… but now…  
He will do all of this… He will do it to show them. To show them they’re wrong. He will become strong. He will be stronger than all of them. He will… He will… He will bring Dave back, and together, he and Dave will show them… they will show everyone...


	4. Kept Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus discovers a few new things about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot shorter than usual, but I wanted to put something out so everyone would know I'm not dead and this isn't discontinued! School has just been a lot, Junior year is crazy and AP art is kicking my free time in the balls. :) And then when I'm free all i wanna do is sleep or play games.  
Also my mental health recently has been not the best, its nothing to concern anyone else with but I've not had much energy.  
Unrelated but if any of you guys like Phantom of the Opera you might wanna keep an eye out because I wanna write a little bit for it. Probably not a big planned out story like this one but I wanna write something for it :) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the chapter, sorry it took soooo long.

Klaus stands in his room, seething from the argument with his siblings. How could they forget he existed, and then scorn him for not knowing he was meant to be there? How could they brush his pain aside so easily? How could they not even be bothered to see how much he’s hurting.?

He had done everything for them, he had died again and again and lived through his worst nightmares and he had done it for them and they… they claimed what he’s doing is no big deal. They… 

He’s never been so angry in his entire life. Tears are building in his eyes from how overwhelmed he’s feeling by the purity of his emotions.

He’s been repressing so much for months… longer even… and suddenly it’s right there. He clenches his fists so hard blood begins to drip down his knuckles. Light blue light begins to be emitted by him and he doesn’t even notice.

The blue glow of his powers climbs up him, snaking around him and clenching his heart, and his feet begin to lift off of the ground. He lets out a scream of pure emotion, rage, pain, hurt, and loss, and with it, everything in the room is suddenly engulfed in the same blue light as him and begins to hover alongside. 

Klaus stays like this for a moment, hovering above his bedroom floor, all of his child selfs trinkets and furniture floating around him before he suddenly blinks back into his senses.

“Oh shit!” he exclaims, suddenly dropping back down to the ground alongside all of the objects in the room, load clattering echoing around him as he stares at his hand in shock.

“I did that…?” he mutters to himself, trembling slightly. His powers were ghosts not... Not whatever the hell that was. Flying? Lifting objects? That was so far outside the realm of what he thought himself capable of.

He thinks back to moments ago when his siblings brushed him aside so easily as useless to do anything but sacrifice himself to their father. 

“I…” he begins aloud “If I can do that... “ he bites his lip and a cold look settles on his face, his fists clenched once again “Who knows what all I can do… I’ll show them.” 

He’ll show them. He’ll be strong, and useful, and then they’ll want him, they’ll ask for his forgiveness for pushing him aside like garbage, he’ll be part of the family… 

All he really wants is to be part of the family.

_____

Training the next day goes as usual, he only works on making ghosts corporeal. Klaus attempts to channel the overwhelming feelings that caused him to discover his new powers, which he has yet to mention to Reginald.

He will mention them eventually, he just wants to get a better grasp on them first. Make sure he’s trained them on his own properly before bringing them to the old bastard’s attention.

Reginald is already impressed enough by the new record he sets for keeping a ghost corporeal.

Klaus sits and casually brings three ghosts into the sight of Reginald for nearly two hours. Reginald watches in visible impression as Klaus does this without seeming too worn out.

“You’ve improved. Have you found a new way of regarding your powers Number Four?”

Klaus nods and Reginald hums, looking at him curiously.  
He wants to know what’s changed in Klaus, to make him go from bringing a ghost into this world for 45 minutes to nearly two hours overnight makes no sense to the man.

Klaus doesn’t see any reason he should explain himself to Reginald though…

“Am I dismissed?” he asks coldly.

Reginald gives him a strange look and then nods.

Klaus goes straight back to his room and gets right back to work.  
He has no time for breaks, he has to focus on his training.

He takes a deep breath and sits down on his bed, trying to connect with the raging emotions in his gut, and bring them out in a controlled way.   
He needs to lift a book from across the room.

He fails at first, his attempts merely succeed in frustration for hours, until finally, he clears his head and thoughts entirely, focusing only on his feelings, and sending them forward to lift the book.

It glows blue and begins to hover.

Klaus grins widely, causing his concentration to falter and the book to fall. His grin doesn’t fade through, he sits there for a moment reveling in the feeling of power. He can be powerful if he works hard. Just as powerful as his other siblings… maybe even more so… he has multiple powers.

He can summon the dead, he can control things with his mind, he can levitate, he can’t die. 

He’s powerful…  
But he needs to train, gain control.

He gets back to work.

____

Weeks pass and blur together. Death comes time and time again. Klaus becomes immune to caring. Sure, it hurts and he hates the torture Reginald puts him through, the way he is treated like a lab rat, being tested constantly, but he sees no reason to dwell. It’s not permanent after all. Not for him.

What is permanent is the ever-widening divide between him and his siblings.

He only sees them at the group training he’s required to go to. The first time around he and his siblings trained together every day but Sunday, when they had a break. This time Klaus takes up nearly all of his father’s time, so the rest of his siblings train significantly less, though Reginald does expect their skills to stay sharp.

Klaus only attends two of the three group training sessions each week, and that is when he sees his siblings. They don’t talk to him and he doesn’t talk to them, though every week that goes by Ben stares at him with those concerned eyes of his more and more.

Klaus makes no attempts to bridge the distance that has formed between them though. He sees no point, not until he’s more powerful.   
Not until he can prove that he’s useful.  
Not until he’s too useful to turn away, and he can finally be the one to choose whether he will be one of them or not…  
If he can’t be the one in control he knows they’ll just throw him aside again.

He’ll make it so they can’t throw him aside.

He’s not sure if he would choose to be part of the family anymore though. His siblings separated from him from them, and the more he trains on his own the more Klaus realizes he’s better off without them… 

He occasionally slips in fantasies of his siblings embracing him regardless of whether he’s powerful or not… He sits in his room and imagines them finding out how miserable he is these days, and hugging him, telling him he can rest.

More often he has nightmares, his siblings turning him away, or joining Reginald as he drowns him, his lungs closing up, and Dave looking upon him and turning away in disappointment. Then there are the nightmares of war and Dave bleeding out in his arms, the only man to ever care for him dying right there, right in front of him...

He avoids sleeping as much as possible though, he trains nearly constantly, filling his mind with goals and thoughts of powers rather than allowing himself to dwell on the ever-growing list of things he doesn’t want to think about.

Klaus is well aware that he is spiraling downwards, that the way he is living isn’t healthy, that he is obsessed with power and control, but he’s never been one for living a life a therapist would approve of. Last time he was addicted to drugs and now he’s addicted to power. Both make him feel numb, but only one gives him any real control over his life so he thinks he’s better off now than he was in his last life.

He trains his new powers thoroughly before presenting them to his father, and when he does bring them forward Reginald stares at him in awe.

He supposes the old man never suspected Klaus to be capable of so much… but he is.  
He revels in the surprised and impressed look on Reginald’s face.

“Number Four, you continue to prove that you are more useful than I ever could have hoped….” The old man scribbles something down in his notebook rapidly.

“I will be increasing our individual training from four days a week to six, but you will no longer be training with your siblings…”

Klaus could have never hoped for a better outcome. He doesn’t want to see them other than at their silent meals. He doesn’t want to have to see them stare at him like they have any right to be concerned.

He doesn’t want to feel so conflicted. He both wants to hug them and make them feel like dirt like they make him feel all at the same time. He just wants everything to make sense, but his emotions are muddled and he hates it more than anything. 

He nods at his father, glad that he will have even more space from his siblings.

“Now come, we must test the full limits of your flight.”


	5. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus is a different person, but Dave will always be his weakness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg i'm backkkkk,,,, sorry for not being around much. I've said it before and i'll say it again, Junior year is a bitcchhh!!!! I'm uploading though!!! Which is probably a shock since this fic looked to be abandoned :3
> 
> it's not! It will be finished prolly hopefully
> 
> Please leave a comment they make my insecure ass feel good ;)

Klaus finds himself drifting, and before he knows it a year has gone by since he and his so-called siblings came to the past. He’s completely alone now, and he supposes that aside from a brief time in the 1960s, he always has been.

His powers progress rapidly on nearly all fronts. He can come back from death in minutes, he can levitate for however long he wants and go wherever he wants while doing it, he can lift and move anything regardless of weight with his mind, he can make ghosts corporeal for as long as he pleases, and can summon massive amounts of local undead at any given time.

He’s powerful. Ghosts no longer control him, he controls them. If he wants the ghosts to just shut the fuck up, he can make them, if he wants the ghosts to do a little jig he can make them. He’s in control. He’s in control. He’s in control.

That’s become his mantra recently. Sometimes he finds himself mumbling it out loud over and over again. Sometimes when that happens he looks down and realizes he’s floating a few feet off the ground and trembling in anger.

He’s more in control than he’s ever been before, yet he almost feels like one of the ghosts he’s controlling. He doesn’t feel right. Every day drags on and yet is over in the blink of an eye and he feels hundreds of miles away from his own body.

‘You’re disassociating’ his mind supplies him, and he knows, but he doesn’t care because he’s been disassociating for months now.

He’s in control, he reminds himself.

Control…

There’s one power he still just can’t get. The power to summon a specific dead person. Reginald is growing more and more frustrated with his lack of success every day, and as Klaus grows more competent in every other aspect of his powers, Reginald hones in on his one failure more and more.

Nothing is ever good enough for dear old dad he supposes.

“Number Four, you have shown yourself capable of a great many things and yet this! I ask you to do this simple thing and you fail! I have wasted my time with you… perhaps it was a mistake to spend so much time training you…”

Klaus grits his teeth “No sir! I’m trying it just is beyond my grasp. I don’t know why… it’s like somethings blocking this ability from me!” he pleads.

This just seems to make Reginald angrier “What kind of useless excuse it that. Something is blocking you? I thought you better than that…”

Reginald seems to regard him for a moment “You have become far less emotional than you once were… Every day you become less and less of your old useless self. This is the final way to prove to yourself you aren’t what you were before. A dependant child, desperate for your next high. Do you want to go back to that?”

Klaus looks at the floor and thinks about summoning a specific ghost… All he can think of is Dave. Daves’s face overwhelms him each time he tries to summon a specific ghost, and each time no one appears.

Reginald is trying to poke at things he doesn’t understand, Dave is the thing blocking him from using this power, but Dave is the only thing from the old Klaus he will never get rid of. He can never cleanse himself of the one good part of his life.

He thinks of Dave and imagines holding his hand and begs him to appear, but he doesn’t, and Reginald is still standing there.

“I can’t do it.” is all he says and Reginald clenches his fists.   
Klaus hates when Reginald gets legitimately angry, it’s always such a pain. It also is usually accompanied by pain.

“Fine, then we will work on a different power. Keep in mind though Number Four, this is a punishment as well, for your uselessness.”

Klaus finds himself growing numb as he’s led to the old room, where they tested the poisons nearly a year ago. The room fills him with a sense of panic, despite the poison not being that bad compared to other things.   
He hasn’t been here since then, and the poison was what started him down this path of pain and emptiness.

This whole house is full of trauma but he knows how to cope with this house. He doesn’t know how to cope with this room… yet he sits down on the bed as he knows he is expected to.

Reginald leaves the room and he sits there in silence for a long time, dread growing in the pit of his stomach with every passing moment, threatening to overtake the numb calm he has been drifting through life with for months.

He wonders what Reginald could have in store for him when he’s already been tortured in every possible way imaginable.

When Reginald comes back simply with a needle full of a clear liquid he finds himself growing confused.

“This may not look threatening… but I think you’ll find it to be quite painful, and quite slow.”

Klaus bites his lip harshly but says nothing.

Reginald holds his arm down as he pushes the liquid into him and he feels nothing for a moment.

Then suddenly it’s like his whole body is on fire. He wants to thrash about and scream and make it stop but he can’t even move. Everything feels wrong and he might vomit.  
He does actually vomit, but since he can’t move it gets all over him, and he feels tears gathering in his eyes. 

He hates this, he’s choking on his own vomit and it all burns so much and he can’t fucking move.

God knows Reginald probably engineered whatever the fuck this is to be the most painful experience possible.  
Klaus can attest that he might have just succeeded.

His body tries to draw in air but nothing will come in but vomit and he can’t even feel anything but burning. It reeks of his own puke and he thinks he might start vomiting again, but instead he just starts coughing, but they’re wrong and he feels like he’s coughing up water after being drowned but it must be something from inside him.

Fuck everything is getting blurry and he can’t breathe and finally! Finally, he can just die and this pain will end and he can go back and do it all again tomorrow.

He just wishes he could stay dead.

_______

When he opens his eyes he’s looking up at a gray sky.  
He blinks in confusion and sits up, glancing over to see the little girl glaring at him. “Hey I remember you,” he says, and his voice sounds older.

He looks down at himself and grins to find he’s in his older self-body.

“I would certainly hope so. I’d love to forget you but you just keep mucking around with the system.”

Klaus shrugs “Not really my choice little girl.”

She heaves a sigh “You could just, not let him kill you, that’s all I’m saying.”

He raises a brow “You could just let me stay dead. Surely my time has got to be pretty close by now…” he glances away “Do I even get to have a time? Or do I have to live forever?”

The girl groans loudly “Did I ask for all this angst when I brought you here? No. I did not. You’ll have your time to die eventually, it’s just different for you.”

He nods “Can’t you just let me stay here though?” 

She shakes her head “Nope. Can’t you just stop dying so much? It makes my life irritating.” 

Klaus shrugs “Mine too… Why’d you bring me here this time?”

The girl shuffles a bit, “That looked… rough. I thought you could use a little reprieve… I have someone here that wants to see you.”

Klaus perks up “Dave?”

She nods and gestures towards a path that Klaus quickly sprints into, calling back a genuine “Thank you!” as he hurries off.

He sprints, excitement coursing through him, and finds Dave, standing next to a tree and looking at him softly.

Tears well up in his eyes and Klaus all but falls into Dave’s arms.

“Why won’t you come to me? Please, I’m so alone down there” he sobs into his lover’s arms.  
Dave wraps his arms around Klaus comfortingly, but whispers “I can’t, I don’t belong down there love.”

Klaus shakes “Neither do I! I want to be here, with you, at peace. Do I not deserve it? I just want you.” His voice shakes and he pulls back slightly, tracing Dave’s face with his hands.

Dave shakes his head “You do deserve it, I’m sorry. I’m sorry it’s all so fucked up. You’ll be here soon though. Soon.”

Klaus shakes his head “Don’t make me go back. It’s all so terrible. I’m all alone. Come with me at least. Please” he continues to mumble please as Dave presses a kiss to his lips.

“Soon it will be okay Klaus. Soon. You’re so strong.”

Klaus feels his grip on Dave becoming weaker and he shakes his head “Please no, don’t make me go. Dave please I love you so much.”

Dave smiles “I love you too Klaus, I’m waiting for you, when it’s time.”

Klaus kisses him one last time and then he’s opening his eyes again, sitting in a pool of his own vomit and coughing up puke and blood.

His body shakes with sobs and he starts to scream. He puts all his feelings of sadness and rage into the screams and he tears and his hair, sobbing loudly and shaking with pain. 

It’s just not fair.

Reginald bursts into the room and Klaus is suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to make him feel what he feels.

“Number Four compose yourself.”

He does compose himself, he stops crying and stares at his shaking hands for a moment, before clenching them and a blue glow surrounds him. He floats up and glares at Reginald. 

“Move.” he growls in a voice that is not his. That is not human.

Reginald stares at him, his eyes showing his fear, and scoots away from the door.

Klaus drops down from the floor and wipes himself off.  
As he walks out the door, he turns to Reginald and says “We won’t be doing this type of training anymore, do you understand.”

He then walks away, through the halls and to the bathroom, ignoring the concerned questions he gets from Diego when he passes him in the hall.

All he can think about is Dave. How beautiful he is. How much Klaus wishes he were with him, and not here.  
Fuck he wishes he weren’t here.


	6. The World Will Suffer the Same Hurt As Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klaus tries to end the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop, this is the end :0000  
I'm not really happy with how it ended up, but I hope you enjoy :)  
I hope you all enjoyed reading this disaster. I enjoyed writing it at first but I think it really fell off here at the end. I've considered deleting or orphaning this work and I still might, but for not I'm going to leave it up. We'll see though.

“Klaus! Let us in!” Diego calls from the other side of his door.

Klaus fled to his room after all the events from earlier today. He should probably go to the bathroom to clean up, but he can’t bring himself to care.

He shakes with rage as he sits on his bed, his fists glowing and most of his belongings hovering around him. The blue glow is somewhat comforting and he longs to use it. He wants to hurt someone in the same way that he’s been hurt over and over and over.

Dave wouldn’t want that though. He takes deep breathes, trying to tune out the yelling of his siblings from the other side of the door. There was some free meditation class he went to at the community center back in his old life. He’d only gone to get out of the cold for a while, but he suddenly very vividly remembers the breathing exercises they’d done then.

He closes his eyes and takes in a long breath, holding it there for a few moments and then exhaling. He does this several times until he feels the power receding from him. Gravity comes back down and things fall to the floor with a clatter.

He’s suddenly all too aware of the smell of vomit and blood and grimaces. Nasty. It’s time for a shower. He supposes he’ll do the little girl in the sky a favor for once and not try to end it this time. Not like it’ll do much.

He stands and brushes his hair out of his eyes. “Damn, I’m a fucking mess.” he mutters, walking towards the door. He hesitates. His siblings are still out there and banging on his door. He doesn’t want to deal with them, but as usual they don’t care.

He pushes the door open and Luther grabs him. He sucks in a breath in anger. “Hey? What the hell man?” he cries, struggling to get free.

“You were supposed to be training Klaus!” Allison cries and his face scrunches up in annoyance. “Yeah? I was? What do you all want.” he bats at Luthers hand, the annoyance growing. “You expect us to believe you were training? Looking like this?” the strong boy scoffs and Klaus feels the anger start to seep back in.

He doesn’t have the patience for this kind of shit anymore. “What the hell else would I even be doing. Put me the fuck down.” he spits. “Klaus… You put us all at risk by going out to get high when you were supposed to be distracting dad.” Ben says softly and he freezes.

He starts laughing harder than he’s laughed since Dave died. It’s hysterical and angry and doesn’t sound like him at all. “You people are so dense.” he chokes out through the laughter, looking at his sibling’s confused faces. “What do you think I  _ do  _ at my training? Do you think me and dad sit around and have tea parties?” the laughter comes harder and he’s almost sobbing. 

They’re just so ignorant. It’s so funny. They look so shocked.

Suddenly he stops laughing. He’s done with this and he’s done with his siblings trying to chastise him for going out and getting high. 

His arm glows blue and he flicks his wrist and Luther is thrown back across the hallway, hitting the wall with a satisfying thud. 

His sibling’s eyes widen and he grins. “You’re all stupid.” he starts to walk towards the bathroom, and when Ben reaches out for him he stops his brother in his steps. “You told me to train, so I did. Now, none of you could hope to beat me.” he looks at Vanya. “Not even you.” 

She furrows her brows “But I- I ended the world?” 

Klaus simply nods “But I can’t die.” 

He turns away from his siblings. He’s still dirty and sticky and gross. He’s going to take a nice, long, shower, and no one can stop him. No one can stop him from doing anything.

_____

Life goes on after the incident. Everything is the same, but it’s also very different. His siblings watch him with hesitation and make pathetic attempts to get close to him. Klaus doesn’t care. Why should he? No one cared about him before he  _ scared  _ them. 

  
They’re all just threatened by him. 

He no longer goes to training with Reginald. He’s not afraid of the old man anymore. What could Reginald even possibly hope to do to him? Lock him in the mausoleum? Torture him? Kill him? It’s not as if they haven’t been there before. 

Klaus makes it clear that he’s the one in charge one night when he comes to dinner, changes the music to his own favorite, and uses his powers to move Reginald from the head of the table. 

He lives to wait for the day he can join Dave, and he’ll do what he wants until then.

He doesn’t kill or hurt anyone of course. Sure he killed people in the war, but that was under orders and Dave wouldn’t want him to just murder people because he’s mad at the world. So he doesn’t really hurt anyone. 

One day Reginald comes into his room and demands that he goes on a mission with his siblings and he laughs in the man’s face. Klaus is laying on his bed humming to himself and simply raises a brown

“Why would I do that?” he questions, and the man tries to hide his fear as Klaus gets to his feet. 

“You have turned into my greatest disappointment, at if you don’t start obeying orders I will have to put you down.”

Klaus giggles. “Oh, really?” 

The angrier he gets, the funnier it all becomes. It’s as if along with the realization that he’s more powerful than anyone else could hope to be, comes the realization that everyone is just a lying, stupid, self-serving, hypocrite. Dave is the only one who’s ever cared. Dave is the only one who’s ever mattered.

Everyone else is scum.

“I would simply love that! But you and I both know it’s not possible.”

Reginald has swallowed and Klaus walked up to him, turning him around and giving him a harsh pat on the back. “I can’t wait to see you try though! Good luck. I dearly hope you succeed in your endeavor.” 

Really, after the number of times Reginald has killed him, you’d think he’d be aware that nothing works. Maybe he’ll try beheading. Klaus has always been a bit curious about that.

He lays back down and goes back to humming. There’s a dead band he called in to play for him. He doesn’t use his powers to command them, but they’re glad to play of their own will in order to keep him from doing so. 

It might be cruel, but the ghosts tormented him for years. It’s his turn now.

He feels nothing as he listens to the ballads the band performs. 

He feels nothing, in general, these days.

______

When he wakes up he yawns. Another failed death. He looks at the bloody bathwater in annoyance and starts to hum again. As awareness comes back to him, he realizes there’s someone else in the bathroom.

He looks over and raises a brow at Ben. His brother’s face is tear-stained and his eyes are wide. “What gives man?” he asks in confusion “A little privacy.” he gestures at the fact that he’s naked and in the bath.

“Y-You were dead?” his brother’s voice is choked up and Klaus laughs lightly. 

“Oh that. I already told you guys I can’t die. No harm in trying though right? Every once in a while the little girl will let me through for a bit.”

Ben shakes his head in frustration “What do you mean no harm? What if it works?” Klaus just blinks at him. “Well, why do you think I keep trying? They’ve gotta let me stay eventually right.” he pulls the drain and watches the bloody water sink down through the drain.

Ben is looking at him in horror, “You want to die?” he stresses his words, as if Klaus doesn’t fully understand what he’s saying. 

He just shrugs and nods. “I mean, obviously? It’s not like this is the first time this has happened. Actually this is one of the better ways to go I must say.”

Ben shakes and looks pissed. Klaus huffs at his expression. “Wow, it’s been ages since I got a genuine Ben lecture. Not since I was the only person you could physically talk to! It’s always flattering to know that if it was a choice between complete isolation and me, at least then you’ll talk to me.” he can’t help the bitterness that seeps into his tone.

He’s thought he and Ben were close, but now he sees that he was just a last resort.

“Klaus! How could you say that? How can you want to throw away your life so easily?” his brother is seething “I would have given anything to live not that long ago. You act like you- just because you went to a few training sessions with dad you think you’re so much better than us now!”

A giggle falls from Klaus’s lips. “Man. You guys really are dense you know that.” he stands and grabs a towel, wrapping himself in it.”Ben, what do you think training with dad was like? How do you think I know I can’t die?”

Ben’s angry expression falters, and Klaus keeps pressing. “How do you think I know that death by slit wrists isn’t that bad. Not too many people have all the most common methods of death ranked from most to least horrible after all.” 

Ben’s eyes widen at that “He didn’t-” Klaus cuts him off “Of course he did. Why do you think I begged you guys for a break? You all sent me off to be tortured and you didn’t even think twice.” 

He sees how his words hurt his brother so he keeps digging in. “You all wanted a second chance at a family, so you threw me away. I’m just useless old Klaus after all right?” 

Ben shakes his head “It wasn’t like that!”

“Wasn’t it?” Klaus hums mockingly 

“None of you want to admit that now that I’m the biggest threat around. I can fly, I can raise armies of the dead, I can move things with my mind, I’m immortal. Not one of you cared what happened to me before you found out about that. I’m the strongest one here and suddenly you all cared all along?” 

Klaus walks toward the door calmly, “I’m not weak enough to fall for that anymore. So if dying is what will make me happy, you have no right to tell me that’s not okay. You don’t even have a right to mourn me if it ever works.” 

He feels a sense of satisfaction as he leaves Ben in the bathroom on the verge of tears.

That vindictive feeling drains from him by the time he’s changed into his stupid Umbrella Academy uniform. He sits down on the floor and feels emptiness overwhelm him. 

He wanted to show them all, and now he has. There’s nothing left now. He’s powerful and alone. There’s nothing left for him. No friends, no family, no more power left to attain, and no more feelings. All he has is a sense of emptiness.

He can’t even muster enough rage to throw things around. He just sits on the ground and wishes he could feel enough to cry.

______

He floats through life in an emotional sense for weeks. He can’t feel anything and everything feels so far away. People rarely talk to him and when they do he barely responds. His siblings are dancing around him. Ben must have told them what he told him. 

He didn’t tell them that they sent him to be tortured for pity! He told them so they would feel bad! He wanted them to hurt. He wants them to hurt. He wants everyone to hurt. 

  
He’s stopped attending dinner, electing instead to get his own meals after everyone clears out. He walks to the kitchen one night and finds everyone sitting there waiting on him. 

He turns to leave but Diego calls for him to wait. He does so, staring blankly at them. 

“Klaus, please talk to us,” Allison begs and Klaus feels nothing. 

“Why?” he asks. 

Allison swallows nervously and Klaus follows her gaze down to his fists, which are clenched and glowing that familiar blue that usually comes with anger. He isn’t angry though. Everything is too muted for him to feel at all. 

“B-Because-” Vanya starts “If you don’t talk to someone about what happened it’s just going to keep eating you from the inside.”

“I don’t care,” he says simply and turns to leave. 

Ben reaches out to grab him and he flinches away. “Klaus, please. We know we weren’t there for you when you needed us, but let us be there for you now.”

Klaus shrugs “I don’t need anyone now.” 

He distantly recognizes he’s rising up above the ground. It barely feels like anything is really happening to him anymore though. 

“You clearly do!” Luther finally exclaims “Look at you! You can’t even control your own powers.”

“Control?” he bites out. “I can control myself  **just fine** ” he growls, his entire body suddenly becoming engulfed in blue. 

His sibling’s eyes widen and it still seems far away. Like he’s watching things play out from another dimension. 

“Klaus. Come down. There’s no need for violence.” Allison tries to reason and he growls. 

There’s always a need for violence when it’s against him! Maybe he deserves to strike back once in a while. He gets kidnapped, tortured, thrown back in time, fights in a war, loses the only man to ever love him, the world ends, he gets thrown into his childhood body, he gets killed by his adoptive father over and over again, tortured to death more times than he can count, and he doesn’t even know when he’ll be able to join his love away from here. 

But he wants to be a little angry and suddenly violence isn’t the fucking answer?

He’s barely able to function enough to get through the day because of how much he’s been fucked over. He can’t enjoy things anymore. He can’t talk to people or connect with them. He knows he’s nothing but a shadow of what he was, but he at least has power! 

He raises his arms, and with them the dead everywhere become corporeal. He wills them to destroy everything.    
  
“Klaus! Stop!” Diego and Ben cry out as his other siblings try to wack at the ghosts that are suddenly warming among them. “Please! We can help you! It’ll be okay!” Vanya adds, huffing in exhaustion. 

Klaus simply grabs his siblings with his powers and brings them up to his level. They struggle to get down, but he’s in control. He’s in control. 

**“I’m in control.”** his voice echos and everyone flinches back. 

“Klaus, please. We love you! We just want to help you.” Allison tries.

He shakes his head in frustration “You never wanted to help before!” 

His siblings nod, and Five calls out “We failed you, but we want to help now.”

Klaus scoffs at that, “because I forced you to. You can’t ignore me anymore. You can’t leave me alone anymore.”

Ben nods “Yes, and we’re sorry!” Diego intervenes “We know we fucked you over, but ending the world isn’t going to make you feel better!”

Klaus pauses everything freezes. “End the world?” he mumbles, awareness hitting him as he looks around. He doesn’t want to end the world. He just wants everyone else to feel the same hurt he feels. 

He wills the dead back to their natural state and sends them back to their usual business. 

  
“Yes! Good job Klaus!” Five looks more relieved than Klaus has ever seen him and Allison is panting “Now let us talk to you! We won’t let you get hurt anymore.”

Slowly Klaus lowers everyone, the numbness leaving him and the hurt that’s been clawing at him for months crashing into him. He touches the floor and sobs bubble up in his throat. 

“Why did you make me let him do this? I’m ruined.” he grabs at his hair and tugs on it. 

His siblings approach him cautiously. “We didn’t know how bad it was,” Diego admits. “We failed you,” Ben opens his arms as if to hug him. 

Klaus eyes him nervously but gives a hesitant nod. Ben approaches him slowly and wraps him into a warm hug. Klaus sinks to the floor, shaking with sobs. His other siblings slowly join, and then form a little pile on the floor. 

Klaus is hurting. He might never stop hurting, but now his siblings are on his side. He doesn’t have to be alone anymore. They may not be perfect, but they’ll all do their best. 

That’s all he can ask for. 

That and getting the fuck away from Reginald.

__________

End

__________

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment :) it'll make me very happy. Constructive criticism is welcome, but please be nice, I write this for fun, and I'm not a professional.  
Also I don't have a beta so please point out any grammar/spelling mistakes so I can go back and fix them!!!!


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